Tuesday, April 1, 2008

One For The Wood Chipper

I hate this spoon. It is unlike any other I have ever felt. While most regular store bought wooden spoons are light, relatively flat, and possible to break during a spanking, this one is completely the opposite. It is a large, incredibly thick, rounded, spoon from hell. I'm pretty sure it was designed to stir bubbling cauldrons of evil witch's brew.

Even a light smack delivers a major sting. I think that is at least in part due to the shape. As I mentioned above, the spoon is not flat. It has a rounded bowl (better for scooping up that eye of newt) that concentrates the area of impact to one super painful point.

I've encountered this beast twice now, both times at the hands of Veronica who uses it to expertly seek out my sit spot.

I think this is one implement that may need to mysteriously disappear before I am faced with round three. Better yet, perhaps it will have a fateful encounter with a wood chipper. At least that way if I'm punished for my actions, it can't possibly be with that spoon. Spanking with mulch doesn't have nearly the same impact.


Anonymous said...

Naughty Pixie. Seems like the perfect little toy to use on you if you ask me.

Anonymous said...

Looks like something to stir a witches brew? LOL. Sounds like another Pixie's fantasies scene. Don't know about the wood chipper piece though.
Have you ever purposely destroyed an implement as part of a scene? Bet that could be incorporated as a follow on; get even with the witch for using it on you.;)
Of course then the witch would have to get even with you for destroying their favorite spoon.



Perhaps it's time to introduce your old computer (once you have gotten all your files out) to the wooden spoon, for some stress relief :-)

Veronica just looks so hot when she's concentrating like that.


Anonymous said...

well by golly!
I think you deserve ANOTHER spanking for stealing my brew-spoon! I've been scooping spiders and spleens with my bare hands for the last week!
How am I supposed to make my age-defying night cream w/o it?

David 007 said...

You DO realize that every top who reads your blog is wondering where to buy this implement, right? :) (HUGGS)

Anonymous said...

Ditto David 007. You sounded just like a kid describing the hated implement with which their mother discplined them. Which might be fine for dissuading real-life bratty behavior, but not necessarily good for *enjoyable* play. Though it may be hard to ascertain, given the number of other implements used in shoot, what is The Beast's "ick factor" (i.e., does it leave bruises)?

Dreams oƒ Horses

Kat said...

Personally Pixie, I think the only thing that spoon would be good for is fire wood!

Anonymous said...

Aaaaaack -- that thing looks like it could mark like crazy! I agree -- it belongs in the wood chipper. Or in a fireplace. Or stirring soup. Whatever... nowhere near anyone's bum! -- Erica

Anonymous said...

You could send the spoon to me, that way you wouldn't necessarily encounter it again. Or, for a while anyway. Teehee! I promise I wouldn't use it on you in July. (fingers crossed behind my back.) Really, I'm a very honest person whom you can absolutely trust. Just because you broke my favorite hairbrush last summer has nothing to do with anything. Right?


Winchester said...

Tut tut tut. Destroying or disposing of any implement should surely not be at the discretion of the spankee, but only f the spanker. Let it be displayed on the wall of the sitting room as a consatnt reminde of the penalty brattish behaviour might incur...but remember that any threat can only work if there is the knowledge that it may be brought into play!

Actually, as Beverly Bacci seems to lay claim to it, let it be saved for the next time she bottoms at PB:-) BUT Chelsea sounds as if she should not be trusted: by July she will have forgotten any promises made in April, even with fingers crossed behind her back. That sort of promise should earn HER a dose of the spoon! There seem to be just too many possibilities - so no chipper, fire or other means of destruction please.

Richard Windsor said...

Yep, David007 nailed it right on the head......... Just where does one acquire said spoon :-)

2Good said...

It looks like just your average spoon in the distant pictures, quite another story close up though. Perhaps you can rent it out to be used on other naughty bottoms. If it isn't lost in the mail maybe it will be broken on or by some other spankee and you'll have somewhere to place blame.

Anonymous said...

We have one such spoon in a kitchen drawer and I couldn't resist "testing" it on my own bum after reading your story.
Even as these were a few "Self-spanks" the sting was ferocious and lasted for a long time. When the smack lands you don't feel much, but it seems to build up from there.
So I do hope that you're not confronted too often with heavy material like such spoons... (WOW)

XXX, Funbun

Anonymous said...

Gee, it would be a real shame if that spoon were to somehow- accidentally, of course- make its way into a trash can. Just make sure Veronica isn't walking by or it'll be bad news for your butt!

Anonymous said...

I am positive it is a spankable offense to wish such ill will and misfortune on an innocent kitchen utensil like that pixie. Shame on you naughty girl.

dixiedarling said...

I normally laugh at the wooden spoon...but dang that one looks deadly enough to even make me get real serious real quick!

Amber Pixie Wells said...

Kevin - Hmph! And double hmph!

Javi - That would make a pretty funny scene!! Witches do have a way of getting even though. I'd probably be spanked and then turned into a toad. :(

Prefectdt - Oh you know it!! And once I'm done with the wooden spoon, perhaps the computer would like to meet Mr. Sledgehammer. :)

Veronica is indeed h-o-t HOT!

Beverly - You are too funny! I will gladly return the spoon to you if you promise to share some of your night cream.

007 - Teeheehee. I'll never te-ellll.

Dreams of Horses - The spoon has a lot of sting to it. Much more sting than thud and so I've found that it quickly reddens me and any bruising is very superficial. Burns like fire though. Ugh.

Kat - Absolutely! Bonfire at my place!

Erica - So you mean I shouldn't send it to D?

Chelsea - I do owe you, don't I? Ok, maybe I'll bring it with me and really, really hope that it doesn't get lost by the baggage handlers. That would be a shame wouldn't it?

Winchester - Actually, Chelsea doesn't know it yet, but I'm going to see if I can reschedule my visit out west a little sooner than July. She probably won't forget so soon and my re-resheduling may give her further incentive to use that rotten spoon on me. But of course I much prefer your other idea of simply saving it for Beverly. :)

Richard - Actually, I couldn't tell you if I wanted to. I'm pretty sure it came with an electric wok I got as a gift from a friend.

2Good - Trust me, it doesn't feel like any average spoon either!

Funbun - Perhaps self-administered spanks do feel different because in Veronica's hands, it stung from the start and only got worse from there. Our director actually paused at one point to check in and make sure I was really ok because I was yelling so loudly.

Anonymous1 - Terrible shame. Really.

Anonymous2 - You mean just dreaming of ways the spoon could meet its demise is a spankable offense? If so, then I'm in big trouble for a rather lengthy hit list.

Dixiedarling - Same here. I was literally whining and complaining about it before the scene even started.

Anonymous said...

I think that spoon should be used on you frequently Pixie.....it's for your own good you know.

The spoon for Pixie.

SpiderSpirit said...

Hmmmm ... I always thought it was the concave side of the spoon that was the preferred spanking surface, as the bowl of the spoon cups the rounded cheek, increasing contact, and, theoretically, increasing sting (similarly to how a hand-spanker might cup his / her hand to complement the target). Any insights (hindsights?) from experience, Pix?

If you're not sure, perhaps a scientific study is in order: Give a *ahem* volunteer test subject a spanking with a wooden spoon, spanking one cheek with the convex side of the spoon and the other cheek with the concave side, of course taking great care to use equal force and equal number of strokes on each side. Data would include photographs of the bottom taken at regular intervals following the spanking, as well as the bottom-owner's subjective tactile observations.

Of course, for results to be valid, the study would have to be repeated MANY times, on as many different bottoms as possible.

Any volunteers? Think we could get a grant of some sort?


Dr. Ken said...

Dear Pixie,
The problem with sending the dreaded implement to the wood chipper is that the owner might go out and buy something even worse to replace it!

Dr. Ken

Anonymous said...

where dyd you buy it?
I must know!