In the little blurb I have posted in the “about me” section of my profile, I describe myself as a somewhat shy girl. Occasionally people will comment in email that it’s hard to believe because I work as a spanking model and seem to have no problem posting pics and videos where my bare bottom gets spanked, but it’s true. Ask anyone that has met me in real life and they will vouch for me!
When faced with a group of people I get nervous. Ask me to speak to a crowd or conduct a meeting and I may well dry-heave. I tend to be quiet around people I don’t know well. If I’m uncomfortable or uncertain of someone, I get even quieter. Bratting and playful banter is saved until I know a person well enough that I’m reasonably assured I’m not going to cross a line and truly offend. And while I love going to spanking parties and meeting so many wonderful like-minded people, I get worked up about it days, weeks, even months ahead of time. I have fears and insecurities like practically everyone else that attends such events, but I always end up having a good time and fond memories after the fact.
While out in Vegas for my shoot with Shadow Lane, I was talking to Tony about the matter and why it is that I can reveal my bare bottom and get spanked on the internet (not to mention recording the scene live in front of at least a handful of cast and crew members), but I can’t handle giving a speech to a room full of people fully dressed. Tony suggested that being spanked in the context of a scene allows me to be someone else for a little while. Not unlike my love of costumes, I get to slip into someone else’s skin for a bit and play the snotty loudmouthed brat that is practically begging for a good spanking.
I think that may be a part of it, but even when not doing a scene or role playing, spanking allows me to really break out of my shell. It gives me the opportunity to bring out the playfully naughty, sassy side of me that is repressed in other situations. It’s a perfect chance to let go, be a little mouthy, and kick and fuss as I pay the price.
Perhaps if I were spanked right before having to stand up and give a presentation, the endorphin rush and momentary confidence would carry me through so that I could speak up with ease. But on second thought, let’s not put that theory to the test. Skip the speech and just spank me anyway.