I was at a Celtic Festival today and one of the vendors had some beautiful wooden items for sale. My jaw dropped though when I saw this item hanging on display.The sign said "Bread boards", and while I can accept some of the other solid and more standard-size pieces as really being such, I have a hard time believing it when it comes to this one. Why would you want such a long, thin bread board with holes in it?? If you cut bread on it, all the crumbs would fall through the holes.
What is your impression? Is this a boldly displayed but unlabeled paddle? Or is this really a specially designed bread board and this is evidence that my spanko mind has warped my perceptions? And if it truly is a bread board, what is the purpose of the holes???
13 comments:
Let's go for the important questions: Where's the festival, and how much did they want for it?? :-D
I believe the holes are meant for ventilation when working with a brick oven. But like everyone else viewing it, I can only thing of other heating uses for it (BG)
The holes are meant to let the steam off your bottom. Oops, I mean bread! Bread, she says!
Right, the holes vent out the steamy heat from your b...bread....thusly, a pa...I mean, well, a bread board thingey.
We see everything spanko :-)
Dave
Definitely a bread board
- not for cutting, but for getting bread out of the large bakers' ovens. The holes make it lighter, and that more easy to handle. Its sheer length would make paddling with it somewhat unwieldy, and possibly dangerous to the spankee as it would surely be difficult to control with accuracy. I take it you did not buy one or ask for a test drive! :-)
I guess your reaction to seeing it was a case of a spanko's lateral thinking: always assessing possibilities and seeing creative uses for almost everything!
An excellent pervertable for any kitchen wall.
Bit more boringly I have seen something simular to this before. It was for cutting up hotel bread (a bit thicker version of a french stick or baguette) into small round discs, to go into a basket, to go with a main course or soup. The holes are there to let most of the crumbs through so that they do not end up in the basket when the bread is swept off the board. I wish I did not know this :-(
Prefectdt
Where I work we have holes in our bread board. The crumbs drop onto a tray below the board and we take them outside to feed the birds!
Pixie,
I bet you would like to try it! just think get all your girls in a line and ONE BIG SWAT WOW. cool pic. Jack
Reading some of the comments, it looks like it really is for making bread. Would make for one heck of a paddle though! Kind of reminds us of the giant mixing spoons with holes in them (or a single hole even). The dual possibilities have to be obvious even to a non-spanko.
:)
~Todd & Suzy
The tip off would be, Did they recognize you? If they recognized you, the merchants in question are spanking enthusiasts. If they did not recognize you, they aren't. That's how famous your A-list bottom is!
Well, the first thing that I thought was: Paddle alarm!! If you hadn't told me it was really a bread board, my pervy mind would probably never have even came up with the suggestion that maybe - just maybe - it wasn't meant for whacking bottoms. It's good that you have such a broad range of readers - otherwise I would have spent hours (ok, maybe just minutes, but still) wondering why on earth people drill holes in a bread board...
I'm always on the lookout for paddles and such at antique stores and flea markets. Just this past weekend, I scored a 1929 sorority paddle for $10 and a vintage fli-back paddle for $2. The fli-back was locked in a case so I had to have one of the ladies open it up for me so I could retrieve it. I wonder what the three women at the counter were thinking as I placed both paddles on the counter to pay..?
you could had answer to ya question if you had work up courage and ask lol. doubt they would know you were a spanking model and wanted to get spanked by it
hope you did not tell all top where you work about it they just might go out and buy one and you and rest model will get spanked by it the other model would blame you
Mike
007 - Haha. The Celtic Festival was in Bethlehem and I was blushing too badly to even inquire about the price. If I go back again next year, I plan to wear one of my regulation length plaid, pleated schoolgirl skirts so that I can fit in without spending hundreds on a kilt (much as I'd like to get the real thing).
Chloe - I thought about the steam for the fresh bread, but then I figured if you put it down on a table, the steam would get trapped anyway ... which then led me back to wondering if it wasn't indeed meant to serve a dual purpose. Should have picked one up in any case for a nice present for you - or should I say for Herb. :)
Dave - Seeing the world through spanko glasses makes things a lot more enjoyable, no?
Winchester - Hmmmm. I really wish I had asked the vendor why the holes were there. The board was so thick I'd think it would make it difficult to get under the loaves without having to pick them up, but the theory of the holes making the board lighter is a very good theory.
Prefectdt - I see. That makes quite a lot of sense. What an inventive way to avoid getting a basket full of crumbs.
Aaron - Yay for feeding the birds! I'm sure they now gather each day eagerly awaiting the crumbs. :)
Jack - That would be one big swat. The board was so thick it would probably knock us into next week!
Todd & Suzy - Indeed it would make for a nice paddle. I should have given the vendor the link to SL and told him there is a whole different sort of festival that would be thrilled with his craftmanship.
Anonymous - I certainly was not greeted by name or anything, but he did smile broadly as my boyfriend took the board off the display and pointed it menacingly at me. I have a feeling we weren't the first ones of the day to have alternate ideas about the item's intended use.
Kate - Good to know I'm not the only one that immediately thought "Paddle!!!" when seeing such an object.
Anonymous - What great finds. I guess it depends on their level of vanilla-ness if they'd be able to put two and two together. I'd proably have tried to come up with some likely explanation for my purchases just in case someone asked, chicken that I am.
Mike - Oh there was no way I wanted to get spanked by that bread board / paddle! It looks like it rates off the ouchie scale. And I quickly excused myself to another area of the vendor's stand before my bf got any ideas about testing out its versatility.
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