Spanked to Tears

The topic of crying during a spanking came up on the forum Happy Tails the other day, and while I added my 2 cents on the thread, I continued to think about it especially in light of the sobfest I had during my spanking from Dallas. What makes me (or allows me to) cry during a spanking and why don't I cry more often in other scenes and spanking play I engange in?

There are certain key elements that are necessary for me to let go and really have a good cry from a spanking. I say "good cry" because it is possible for me to cry without these elements, but the tears that result aren't ones that feel so good. But I'll get to that a little later. For now I'll just focus on what it takes for me to let go and cry from a spanking in a healthy way. They are Trust, Tone, Intensity, Intent.

Trust is essential for me to cry. I need to feel that I am safe both physically and emotionally. If I am busy concentrating on fear of true physical harm coming to my body due to unsafe practices or inexperience, I won't be able to let go and cry. Similiarly, I need to feel safe enough with regard to the psychological aspects of the relationship to allow myself to be emotionally vulnerable. I need to know that I will not be judged, made fun of, or belittled in any way for tears falling.

The tone of a spanking is incredibly important too. If I sense that the person spanking me is uncertain or not taking it seriously, crying is more difficult. A strict, strong demeanor without crossing over to cruel or abusive is key. If I feel the spanking isn't fair or is going too far, I somehow manage to not only not cry, but refuse to give any sort of desired reaction ... and of course in the name of safety, I will also call an end to it altogether if need be.

By intensity I mean how firm the spanking is. This does not mean that I necessarily need to be smacked with a 2 x 4 at full swing, but I do need to feel a good sting and burn. Light butterfly pats won't make me feel like I've received a true spanking warranting tears.

And finally, intent is very critical as well. Of the scenes that I've done, I've cried easiest when being spanked by Dallas. While it is certainly true that he spanks very hard and I'd say that of the spankings I've taken on film, I've done my most severe with him, it's more the intent than the intensity that leaves me crying. In those scenes I am being punished for real life offenses and due to that psychological / emotional aspect, tears are often rolling down my cheeks before the first spank lands. I am thinking about what it is that I have done wrong or an area that I need to work on and feel truly remorseful. I am not playing a character that committed some infraction completely foreign to me and I am not busy trying to remember what my next line might be.

I have cried in some other scenes including a couple on Punished Brats where I am not being punished for real life offenses, but the scenes are not our usual naughty but somewhat light-hearted and humorous standard. They'll be scenes where during a longer, firmer spanking there isn't a lot of dialogue which allows me feel as though I'm being disiplined for some real infraction and I may even begin to think of something that I'm carrying guilt over. But for the most part, when being spanked on camera, I'm doing a scene and focused on way too many other aspects to just let loose or the type of scene I'm doing just wouldn't work as well if I burst into heaving sobs.

All that being said, I have cried in some scenes where these key elements weren't necessarily met. I may have been overly tired or just having one of those days where a sappy Hallmark commercial will make me cry. I also may have been crying for a reason almost directly opposite of one of my "good cry" essentials - the feeling of a lack of safety. Not necessarily physical safety, but emotional safety and comfort. I cried because I was genuinely upset and confused but felt I needed to continue on with the scene. That distress led to tears but not the cleansing kind that I would categorize as a "good cry".

Like almost every aspect of spanking, some people enjoy crying or watching a girl cry from being spanked and some find it off-putting. Personally I find crying from a true discipline-style spanking cathartic and I also enjoy watching a girl cry in a well done disciplinary scene. I don't wish to or aim to cry in the majority of my scenes as I also greatly enjoy the emotionally lighter, fun type of scenes. Also, in all honesty, crying leaves me emotionally and physically drained and I think I would quickly burn out if the goal were tears every time. But a tearful truly remorseful Pixie in response to a real (or at least very realistic) disciplinary spanking once in a while balanced out with plenty of sassy, bratty, lighter affairs is a good thing in my book.